Spouses

 So... my husband has been gone on a business trip to NY all week, and I MISS HIM! I know, only a week, you'd think we were newly weds or something, not working on our 5th anniversery. But it's true. I think that might be why this week has been a total fail as far as creating new designs for me. I got ONE out all week... a great one I will freely admit, I already sold it to a friend who came to visit from CA and had to make it again so I can photograph it.... but still. I find I wander the house unable to settle at ANYTHING, not beads, not housework ( I know, big suprise), not even a book or movie. It's still been a busy week with my sister's 30th B-day stuff, including an overnight girls party in Park City, but I just can't wait to pick him up at the airport tonight!

I figure many of you can empathize. And I also thought it might be fun to hear how our various spouses, parents, roommates, significant others..... play into our beading lives.

My own husband is funny... sometimes he'll see something in a magazine I'm flipping through and tell me I should make that same thing... He's also being VERY helpful and supportive as I am trying to start up my bridal jewelry business. He even created a set of Excell sheets for me that link my design recipie's and cost break down, to my order lists, to my inventory and pricing, to my supplier lists... and altered the original excell file we bought to get me started! So cute to see him happily programming away for me, and getting discusted because of the limitations of excell. He declared that he's now going to start creating a custom-built database for me so that he can make it do EVERYTHING for me, including automatically update my inventory when I sell a specific design... Pluss he's always happy to give me his opinion on a design. SOmetimes he's given me some VERY good insight to something I'm working on. Othertimes, he points out a flaw that I hadn't noticed.

Well, that got a lot longer than I anticipated.... But then, I did say I was missing him a LOT!

Lois

I know exactly how you feel-I'm the exact same way!  We'll be celebrating our 15th anniversary this year, and every time he goes away I think of all the things I can get done with the extra time, and I hardly do anything.  I just spend the whole time moping around.  I'm so glad I'm not the only one who does that.

My hubby is supportive of me as well.  He likes to give me ribbing a lot of the time that if he has something important to say, he has to preface it with "beads" to get me to pay attention.  I can't quite get him to help me design things, but if I'm stuck on a color choice he'll sometimes give me a hand, and he's helped me photograph things from time to time.  I keep trying to think of sneaky ways to get him to learn to do something, but so far he's not buying it.  Ah well...

 I have a wonderful fiancee (Getting married in exactly three months! June 27th is the big day!) that at the moment lives about 8 hours away. He is so support of my jewelry making. I also think that he thinks I am a lot better than I am! He is always so quick to say "Oh you can make that!" It's great to know that he has so much confidence in my ability! He may have even found a someone interested in selling my pieces in their shop!

I think I am just the opposite of you too! Since he has been away for a while now, I find myself beading to keep my mind of the fact that he isn't here. But I will be joining him at the beginning of August!

 Neither I nor my fiancee can concentrate on much when we are seperated. When he is away i do anything that can get my mind off things but it always wanders off, but i can usually get things done, just not as fast or well as usual. Going to my online families always helps me get thru anything :)

My other half totally isn't crafty and i too am trying to get him into some of the things i do. He will usually give me an opinion on thigns when i need it and will comment when i show him finished pieces. One day fairly recently he actually went thru a whole FMG catalog with me and even picked out some beads he wanted me to order to make something for his mom :) One day i'll having him crafting with me...one day...

 I miss my Boyfriend everyday...I work days and he works nights so I see him about 2 days a week (even though we live together) I too think I can get stuff done...most of the time I either try to read, watch a tv show (only when completley desperate) or play online.

He has his photography as a hobby (he took the one of me that I use as my Avatar here) and he takes my bead pictures. He will go into a bead store with me and thankfully all my LBS's have a Husband/kid corner where he can sit and not feel wierd (Beads and Beyond has a supply of fly fishing and car magazines as well as a nice couch, Red Garnet Beads has peppermint patties) Sometimes he will browse a bit, he bought beads for me to make him a backback dangle. I helped him pick out beads for a Mother's day present (his Mom is a beader too) He will suggest things when I am stuck on a project, will ooooh over the lastest masterpiece....

Yeah he's perfect

My hubby helps me pick things out on occasion, and I appreciate it when he does.  I don't always love his choices but if he goes out of his way to pick out something he likes, I'm darn well going to buy and use it!

 Amen Ladies! We have been married pushing 21 years and hate to be apart still. My hubby works a 12 hour shift and works every other weekend. So this was his weekend to work. I have found that beading helps to pass the time and when he comes home I can say "Look what I did today!". He is very supportive and will offer his opinion whenever I ask and occasionally without being asked.

He will go to bead stores and walk around with me, he will pick things out and say "Hey I like this". It is always gorgeous beads but sometimes I will say "What would I put with that?" and he will look at me and say " I don't know, you figure that out". Sometimes I will buy and sometimes I won't.

Next Monday, he is going back on nights so I will see him ( on the nights he works ) about 1 hour before he leaves in the evening if I rush straight home and traffic is good! I will have to start with quick dinners or put things in the crock pot before I leave in the morning. So the weekends he is off, we will see each other in the afternoon. He tries to stay up and keep on his night schedule as much as he can. He has been on days now about 7 years so the 6 years prior to that he did nights. We would literally pass each other on the road in the mornings, and I would see him for about 2 hours in the evening.

Sorry...much more info than you wanted!

I'm the same way, ladies!  Hubby has been gone since yesterday morning at 4AM (gone fishing with his 3 brothers in southern Colorado) and will be back tonight.  I have gotten absolutely NOTHING done around the house - just spending time on the BD or calculating a private bead "sale" with another BD member.  I've GOT to get some laundry going!

But here's where we differ ladies, but I've got good reason.  I really enjoy my time alone when my hubby goes on a weekend trip like this.  But the thing of it is, even happy couples need SOME time away from each other.  My husband and I work at the same place, we carpool to go to work, we eat lunch together, spend the evenings together, sleep together, and spend any non-work-related time together.   He is my best friend, but I relish the weekends he is away because I can do what I want, such as turn the music up loud if I want to. 

But when my Mom was dying back in 2007, I flew out to California for two weeks, and David couldn't take the time off until my mother passed away.  I hadn't been with him for a week and missed him terribly, that's outside of needing him for comfort.  So, yes, I miss my spouse when we are away from each other for extended periods of time.

As far as him taking part in my beading hobby, you ladies are lucky in that respect.  He's not really that interested, and he thinks that some of my stuff is ugly - such as the Victorian pieces I recently made.  However, I used to think he never paid attention, but one day when we went down to the city to go shopping at a mall, we walked by the jewelry cases in one of the department stores and he pointed out how cheaply some of the jewelry was made, and the exhorbitant pricetags that were on them.  He also pointed out a simple strand of freshwater pearls in the case that were priced at $210!  It was at that point that he said that my jewelry was far superior to what he saw there.

That made me feel better!  So I guess he does pay attention to my craft, he's just not too vocal about it. 

He does support my hobby though, because he knows its a passion that took the place of another passion after I married him.  I used to go to garage sales in upscale neighborhoods, and I was into buying antiques and collectibles that way.  Can't do that in a rural lifestyle - because there's no one here that has that kind of stuff.  When I found the craft of beading, it replaced my desire to go to garage sales and I'm now very happy.

Sheila H:

He will go to bead stores and walk around with me, he will pick things out and say "Hey I like this".

Like I said, you guys are VERY lucky in this regard.  My husband would rather drop me off at a bead store and come back and get me later.  But the good part of that is, he can't say "You don't need that!"  He's a major money miser, and if he knew the EXACT amount I've spent on beads over the last 4 years, he'd have a kaniption fit!  What he doesn't know, hasn't hurt him yet!  We kept separate accounts when we married 7 years ago, because if I combined mine with his, I wouldn't be able to buy anything because of his miserly upbringing when it comes to money.  Having our finances this way has not caused a problem yet.  He pays the big bills and I pay the smaller ones and buy groceries.  It works out well.

LoisB:

He's also being VERY helpful and supportive as I am trying to start up my bridal jewelry business. He even created a set of Excell sheets for me that link my design recipie's and cost break down, to my order lists, to my inventory and pricing, to my supplier lists... and altered the original excell file we bought to get me started! So cute to see him happily programming away for me, and getting discusted because of the limitations of excell. He declared that he's now going to start creating a custom-built database for me so that he can make it do EVERYTHING for me, including automatically update my inventory when I sell a specific design...

Okay, one last posting and I've GOT to get off this computer and do some laundry before the hubby gets home!

Lois, although I am VERY happy with my nurse husband, I am envious of the fact that you have a computer programmer husband that can do this for you.  Did you read my discussion thread in the Beading Business section of the BD regarding inventory at tax time?  I am struggling with the issue that your husband is taking care of for you!  I'm envious.....!

 I try to keep my wife out of my stuff as much as possible. The problem being that she wants to keep EVERY single piece that I make for herself. *laughz* She helps me out a  lot when I hit a wall by suggestion color combos and such, but really, I do try my best to keep her away from my finished box. She love picking out beads and all of that but she refuses to even try to make anything. She is rather crafty and she makes a lot of Christmas ornaments and baby stuff, but she steers clear of the jewelry making.

 Billy ;o)

 Hubby doesn't mind going to bead stores because then the trade is that I have to go to gun shops! It is an even trade.

I understand Sherri what you mean about time alone. I do miss him, but when he is on Christmas shut down, or has a week off at July 4th, etc, I am ready for some time away. I think with him working 12 hours it gives me a chance to go to bead stores by myself etc. I get 1 or 2 Fridays a month by myself to do whatever. It is nice! But I also know that I will see him in X amount of hours!

My husband, too, is very supportive of me, especially since I launched myself full-time as a jewelry artist last year.  He was so funny when I started my first farmers' markets - he kept asking me if I wanted him to come along the first three or four times, because he was afraid, and I quote, that the other vendors would be mean to me.  LOL!  Is that a hoot or what?

We've been married for six years now, and we've been together for 15, and the longest we've been apart was for ten days last summer when I went to Texas to see my mom right before she passed away.  And yes, that was terribly hard.  I had our son with me, who was only about five months old at the time, and he was miserable the whole time I was gone.  Although he did say it was the best night's sleep he had in five months, LOL!

He was so great last summer with my craft shows.  He built an easel for me to display my sign, and he even put my sign, as pathetic as it was, into a beautiful wooden frame.  He almost always came along towards the end of the day to help me break down and pack up.  He was supportive of me when my sales were fabulous, and even more supportive when they weren't so fabulous.

He also likes to dabble, but mainly with the glass in the workshop.  I came home from a farmers' market last summer to discover that he had used my last four tiny sheets of dichroic glass to make a "wall hanging".  I was like, okay, guess I won't have any new inventory for next week!  LOL!  And he loves to make lampworked mushrooms.  He had me wire wrap a whole bunch of them and make a necklace for his sister out of them - it was actually pretty funky in a hippy-chic sort of way. 

Can't wait to see how he does this summer when I'm away teaching at BeadFest Philadelphia for a few days!  I half expect to come home and find that a pack of coyotes has moved in to our house.  Hehehe...

-Jen

 OK, so here's the flip side of this coin.  I think you all probably know that I'm a single mom, and I don't date so that I can focus on raising my son and get him out into the world on the right path.

 So, without a spouse, I'm free to go wherever and spend whatever I want on beads and such.  My own conscience is my "governor", my spending limit.  I have a very visual brain (a photographic memory), so when I'm shopping, I tend to have to do it alone so that I can visualize the concepts of the beads I've picked out; having a husband/partner along would disrupt that creative process for me.  I don't have to put up with anyone nagging me about space, or lack of it, for all his stuff.  I can leave my stuff out overnight or even for several days without getting nagged about it (having the chow-hound pug get into it is a whole other matter...ggrrrrr!!).  When a design turns out terrific, that's usually all me.  I also don't have the down time in production because he's away and I can't concentrate.  And as for creative design input, I do have my son, who is usually just as equally uninterested as most husbands seem to be, so I'm not missing out on anything there.  Furthermore, with 2 pugs and 2 cats who sleep on my bed every night, who's got room for a man?!

 On the other hand, being single can oftentimes be a lonely predicament.  I've yet to meet the man who matches my own commitment standards, so until then, I'll stay on my own grass.  And envy those of you who've found your partners, and sincerely enjoy hearing about your lives together. 

 Dawn

 I will admit that it's nice sometimes to have a few days to myself, but on the other hand, right now, I spend all day (workday) at home alone. We only have one car, so until recently, I couldn't even go out to do the grocery shopping until he got home with the car. Now he's on a project downtown, so I drop him off and pick him up to save on parking costs AND I get to have a car.

Dawn, I understand not needing a man to take up life, space, time... ESPECIALLY since if it's not the RIGHT one, it ends up making life miserable. I also have the greatest respect for your decision to focus on raising your son over your own needs! I hope you find someone who will love you AND your son as much as the two of you deserve. My sister still hasn't found someone who is worth her time either. Took me a few years to find mine!

Sherri-- I know! I can't tell you how happy it makes me when he not only is willing to spend his free time designing spreadsheets for my  still starting business, but also wants to design a database for me that will allow me to avoid some of the tax issues... I haven't gotten that far just yet, so hopefully he makes time to do just that before the business gets going in an official taxable way. If he does, I'm going to try to get him to agree to "sell" the program so that we can make it available to everyone else! Rather like the Eni Oken program we started with!  We'll see what happens on that one.

I also have to say, it's really fun to hear what other spouses, children, partners.... et all contribute to the craft.

Lois