I need a favor from all my BD family...

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Sheila H wrote
on Jan 31, 2010 2:21 PM

In the recent past there has been a lot of chaos/drama/unhappiness. I am not asking or wanting to revisit all of that. I am not wanting all of this to turn personal. I am here to ask a few simple favors:

Can we all let it be and move past it and become the fun, friendly, lively place we were before?

There have been changed made to the website. Things we like and things we don’t. Unfortunately that is the reality of it. We can post about the changes we like and don’t like and we can make requests of the things we miss and would like to have back. But the reality of it is that those changes, if made, do take time. But I ask that these postings be as constructive as possible to help those that can make the changes see our requests easier ( maybe? ).

I as a moderator error on the side of caution and don’t delete a posting unless it is either a duplicate or a very blatant advertisement, if I see it. However, I cannot be here 24/7 so if you see something, please e-mail myself, Jeni or Lina so that we can take a look. If I have a question about it, I will e-mail them for their thoughts on if it should be deleted. But please bear with us as that e-mail interaction could take a day or two. I check my e-mails at least 1-2 times a day, but sometimes I don’t have a lot of time.

I admit that I have seen postings that I thought were mean or harsh but have not deleted it as that could have been only my perception. So if you see something that you feel is not appropriate, please e-mail one of us. I have no problem sending the poster an e-mail asking them their intentions etc and I know that neither Jeni or Lina would have that problem.

If someone has posted a question asking where to find something and no one has an answer and a regular member who is a LBS owner posts that they have it, I personally do not find that at advertising and would not delete it. I personally would see that as a BD member helping another. I have a feeling that Jeni and Lina would feel that same, but I am not speaking for them, only myself.

If you see something that you feel is harsh or mean, you can always post a question about it in a polite, constructive manner. I remember the day of those heated yet polite, professional debates. I remember when we all respectfully agreed to disagree. Does anyone else?

So I guess what I am asking is that we all let the dust settle ( I am not asking that you forget, just let it settle ) and move on. I miss the fun and helpfulness of this site. I wish people did not feel that they had to type on eggshells. Sometimes we have to break a few but I feel that we can do that and still maintain what this site is suppose to be about, what it used to be and can be again. Can you help me with letting things be and moving on?

Feel free to e-mail me privately or post here. I realize that by posting, I have to be able to take any thoughts and comments constructively.

I appreciate your time in reading all of this but I have felt that I needed to say/do something for a while. Thank you!


p.s. ( I have to get some laundry done and cook dinner but I will be back later tonight to check on things )

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LYILHA wrote
on Jan 31, 2010 2:55 PM

Sheila, I personally have been a bit of a "fly on the wall", if you will about everything that has been going on and I am kinda hoping that everyone will let the dust settle too.  I didn't really wanna say anything cause really, I didn't want any bitterness directed toward me.  I love this site, love the people and think that the best thing everyone could do is to take a step forward and get back to happy beading and posting.  I hope that my agreement with what you have to say won't change anyone's opinion of me or anything but I will be very happy when this all blows over and we can just bead for beading sake.  Love you all!!!  =)


Northeast, Tennessee



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Posts 791
on Jan 31, 2010 3:08 PM

OK, I guess that's directed at me.  Suppose I probably should have just stayed gone.  I'll go there now, with apologies for saying anything that offended anyone.

God Bless everyone and take care!

I will still love you all and be praying for everyone.


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Sheila H wrote
on Jan 31, 2010 3:40 PM

Dawn - This was not directed at you. Please don't take it that way. If I had a direct problem with you, you would have gotten a private e-mail. My intention was merely a call for help and not to call anyone out about anything. Just a reminder of how we used to be and how we can all be again.

Lately there have been quite a few postings where someone mentioned that the site has not be welcoming, etc. There have been quite a few postings where people have been unhappy about something. I think there are many of us that have been unhappy with something here lately, myself included. I just wanted to put out a general call for everyone to remember what this site was when it started. How we all felt like a family and we enjoyed our time together. It seems that of late, at times, it has not been a fun place to come and visit.

I simply want to look forward to signing in and seeing all the lively fun chit chat going on. Remember how threads used to get side tracked? ( Okay we never did that right? LOL! ) But it seems that everyone, myself included, has really just been through the ringer with all the changes, etc.

I remember ( way back in the day ) where there were about what 8-10 regulars. We all felt like a tight little family. And that family grew...and grew...and grew! And I am so glad. And just like with any family, there are great times and rough times. I think we have had a rough patch lately and hopefully with a little work from all of us, we can get to the sunnier side of things!

I had been wanting to say something for a while, but really wanted to let a little time pass from all the changes. There have been A LOT! So my timing was really more that I felt the time was right, and nothing concerning any specific posts. If I made you feel that way, I do apologize! That was not my intent. Please don't leave...

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Ruth. wrote
on Jan 31, 2010 5:22 PM

Sheila, There are many of us on the board that agree. I think the way you broached the subject was constructive and kind. I don't think anyone could have said it better.

Shippensburg Pennsylvania - about 30 minutes from Gettysburg

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Gyspy Mary wrote
on Jan 31, 2010 8:40 PM

Sheila, I really like your "Post", I Especially like the fact that "If you have a problem with someone's post " that you will contact them .

I needed to hear that, since, I have an open  mouth insert foot, approach to life in general. I wish I could say, it came on with age, but, nope! I was born with one foot in my mouthYes.

 I can take constructive critism on any post that you read that "you or any moderator feels needs re-wording."

Thank you for your time as a Moderator, and Sincere Caring for all of us here on the BD Website.



Gyspy Mary

Blessed are those who can Give, without remembering

and Take with out Forgetting

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Memoosim wrote
on Jan 31, 2010 9:07 PM

I've been in some of the skirmishes and here for all the changes.... even though I don't post much,  I think I was among the first 25 to sign up for this board.  All I can say about this is......... Dawn, please don't leave.  This board is like a baby being trained...... it has a long way to go yet and many more changes to come.  Let's just ignore them and enjoy the ride? Devil    

Dance.  Even if you're the only one who hears the music. 

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JSmaz wrote
on Feb 1, 2010 8:26 AM

Agreed.  Dawn, you just came back and we're ecstatic to have you.  Don't you dare go off and leave us again!

There has been a general feeling of yuckiness around for a while and no one person is responsible for it.  I think we've all been guilty of it here and there.  My take is that Sheila just wants us to get back to being the positive and friendly place we've always been.  There will be other disagreements in future of course, but I think we've had our fair share for now.

**A note on advertising guidelines:  I don't think Leslie had a chance to post about this before leaving for Tucson, but I asked her for guidance about what to consider advertising or not and here is what she said:

"Advertising-- we'll step in when we feel someone crosses the line. If LBS people can say where to find stuff or if they have stuff, so can the bigger vendors. It's all or none. So-- we need to stay at NONE right now.

That said, we're facing such a surge in online commerce we're trying to keep up rationally and fairly to all--buyers and sellers. What we don't want is a big listing of ads.

The answer is--If a member owns a shop or sells something and sees a post asking specifically for that item, then the LBS should email that person out of the Forums, and conducting business outside the Forums. I see no problem responding in this way, one to one, as members. I believe this verbage is in our Guidelines.

However, should members complain that any LBS or other member is abusing this privilege, emailing without solicitation, or being a bit sly with a , "hey you bought this last week, and now I have these on sale,"  we'll have to revisit the plan."


I don't think there's any issue at all when someone asks "where can I find..." and we all chime in with a hundred places to get said item.  I think it's only when it's obviously plugging your own product and not being a regular participant in the conversations that's the big problem, and we all know that those tend to get caught and deleted pretty quickly.  Does that help clarify any?


Oklahoma City

ArtFire Studio & blog  |  Gallery 



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Posts 2,145
on Feb 1, 2010 9:21 AM

Yes, that helps.  Not what I'd like, but I can live with it.  Now, If I'm looking and Deb has some, can she pipe up with "I have some, contact me off list"

Stan B.

Lakeland, MN


Ignorance is curable; Stupidity has neither cure nor excuse.

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13tamara wrote
on Feb 1, 2010 6:27 PM

I'm new here and just wanted to say..........

I was very pleased with how I was welcomed and accepted in at this site (especially into the swaps)and that I'm glad to have found this little place.  Thank you to those that have been helpful and I'm sad to hear that there are issues and hope all gets back to the way you had been for all those that have been here from the start.

Also, please oh please let me know if I do something wrong...........

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Posts 1,317
on Feb 1, 2010 11:13 PM

Sunrise Jewelry:

OK, I guess that's directed at me.  Suppose I probably should have just stayed gone.  I'll go there now, with apologies for saying anything that offended anyone.

God Bless everyone and take care!

I will still love you all and be praying for everyone.



Dawn, please stay......we are all so happy to have you back! This post wasn't about you....there has been a quite a bit of ickyness for awhile, when you were gone. You came back and spoke your mind, and I don't see any problem at all with that. I'm sure if there was an issue with your post, you would have gotten an email. In the mean time, you have allowed other people to speak up when before they didn't. 

You are a treasured BD Friend, please don't go again!


Rainy Pacific Northwest, Home of The Seahawks. 



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Posts 2,145
on Feb 2, 2010 9:47 AM


Now listen up girl, you do NOT have permission to leave, you WILL stay and commiserate with the rest of us!  You really don't understand how traumatic it was for many of us when you disappeared before.  Yes, I missed you. Crying

Stan B.

Lakeland, MN


Ignorance is curable; Stupidity has neither cure nor excuse.

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Pam I am wrote
on Feb 3, 2010 11:23 AM

I missed you too Dawn.  I wondered often how you were doing and kept praying. 


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Posts 791
on Feb 3, 2010 3:05 PM

I had to take some time off from both the site and from my Sunrise Jewelry email, the prevailing ickiness got the better of me, and I did (maybe mistakenly, although I'm still not thoroughly convinced otherwise) take this post personally.  I will just say that I do truly love you all, and have enjoyed being a part of this family.  I did miss it, and realized how much after I got back into posting here.  But, I have to say that if it weren't for all of YOU, the MEMBERS of this forum, I would leave.  In my own little unsolicited opinion, it is only the MEMBERS who make this site worthwhile.

I will apologize for my other post.  I did not fully realize just how prevalent the ickiness had been while I was on hiatus.  I apparently hit a nerve much deeper than I had expected.  My regret is that it hit the nerve of the MEMBERS and that BD/Interweave Staff have not shown any concern -- unless they are sending you moderators in to do it for them.

Sheila, I do love you, I hope you know that!  For several reasons, your moderatorship is something I never would have volunteered for, and I hold you in the highest regard for having the guts to do it.

A couple of things I've always been known for: 1) speaking my mind, with honesty and truth; 2) I'm no a-r-s-e-kisser or "yes-man".  I usually try to be sensitive without sugar-coating.  If I have something more to say, I will try even harder to temper my comments with positivity, if possible, to mitigate any perception of negativity.  But, sometimes, the truth does hurt, and as Jack Nicholson's character says in the movie "A Few Good Men", sometimes some people "can't handle the truth".  Too bad, really, IMHO, because there is so much to be learned from the truth.

Thank you for making me feel wanted.  Stan, I am very very sorry for any trauma I've caused you or anyone else!!

Dawn  Paradise

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DebWAZ wrote
on Feb 3, 2010 3:26 PM

Thank you Sheila.

You said it well. You know sometimes lately, I've felt like the little kid that cries and cries, stops for a while and then remembers that they were crying but long ago forgot what about.


Thanks for the clarification from LR. I can't resist saying that if I'd gotten this answer "back when", it might have prevented my meltdown.


Don't you DARE leave! I think your original post had the effect of a good purging. We all felt a malaise and didn't know what it was or where it was from. Kind of like the foreboding heavy weather feeling before a tornado. Maybe with the "weather" here dying down, we can enjoy the fresh air?


I've been a member of forums, e-mail lists, blogs and other sites for about 20 years - geez, now I really feel OLD! It seems as if there comes a time in any group about any topic that a flash point occurs, everyone gets their feathers ruffled for a while and then things settle down and we're all friends again.

When I shut the computer down for the night tonight, I'll probably be lurking, but won't be jumping in much here, if at all, for a few weeks. My life has gone from merely crazy to chaos, hectic and NUTS with family, the store and our local politics as contributing factors. (see my AWO Loose post) IF I survive this month with my sanity intact <LOL>, I'll be back!









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